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Monday, September 1, 2008

Just Another Manic Monday

Only 10 more days until Balla hits the open ocean and leaves us for 7 long and lonely months. I figured out this weekend that I am NOT doing so well with this little tidbit of information! Not as well as I originally THOUGHT at least! I have been through 3 deployments with this man and this time I think I feel the worst.

Our first deployment, I was also in the Navy so my days were spent working 9+hrs then coming home and taking care of my daughters. A couple of weeks into the deployment I found out I was preggo and then we decided to go ahead and get married so I also had the joy of planning my wedding. I kept really busy during that deployment and I actually got lucky and they ended it in about 5 months. Our next deployment was H-E-L-L! Kevin had to go to school first so he spent the first 3 months of the deployment in Rhode Island. Some would think that to be a good thing for us, but no. He drank a lot and we were fighting when he left for RI so conversation was short and shitty to say the least. When I finally dropped him off at the airport so he could fly to Bahrain, I didn't even care that he was going. It didn't even phase me. Of course we worked out all of our problems over the deployment (that got extended to EIGHT months) but it was still very strange to see my husband after leaving him the way we left each other.

This time is different. The past year has been different for us. We have grown as a couple. He has become my best friend again and we are just, I dunno, the almost perfect couple again. I find myself crying at the stupid things and wanting to just chill with my husband. I get jealous when he wants to be on the computer playing games with his brother who pretty much stole a whole week of my husband's last few weeks with us by "dropping in" during the first week of Balla's leave! I want him to just hold me. I don't want the days or nights to end. I want to love on him and play fight with him all day long. I don't want the Navy to take my man away!

Anyway, tomorrow is another day closer to departure but it is also our son's 5th birthday and the start of school for everyone. I will get 3 days "alone" with my hunny and we have plans to try to finish the last half of our deck for the pool. It's been a rough day today, but I got through it without crying. Not sure if I will get throught the NIGHT, but I'll find out soon enough. It's been a long day. A Manic Monday!

TTFN,

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1 comment:

CrystalChick said...

On one hand, it's wonderful how much you've grown as a couple. Those things only get better too!
After 25 years with my guy I really can say that!
But on the other hand, to have to be apart that long, of course is stressful.
My nephew is in the Navy and his first deployment was hard for the family. Of course we missed him so much. But when it's a husband or wife, obviously that is so much different.
I think you will find ways of communicating at times when there's no internet or phone service.
Writing long handwritten letters to him might be good therapy. Maybe go and get some extra beautiful frames to put really special pictures in around the house.
Or start a project! Not that a young working Mommy has much time for extra stuff, but it could help give you other things to concentrate on. A book club, a craft group?
I think you're a very strong woman. And having been in the service yourself, you understand that level of commitment.
Best wishes to you and your family and good thoughts to Balla and all those deployed! Hope the time goes quickly.
Write me anytime if you need to chat or vent.