Race...ism...ist...Virginia...Whatever. Call Me/It What You Will

I have 3 beautiful children and a wonderful husband that put up with my shit crap stuff day in and day out. And with the exception of about 10-12 days out of the month, I am a fairly stable, harmless, happy, but opinionated woman…except for lately. I do not know if it is because of this STATE and the MISERABLE people I have run into since moving here in 2002 or if it is because I am just getting older and finally finding my roots (yeah right), but I have found myself becoming more and more profoundly racist as the months drag by and I HATE it! Let’s take today for a really horribly perfect example!

I was on my way home from somewhere, can’t remember where because I was so pissed off afterwards I forgot where I was coming from, on the phone with Mrs. Paruser idly chatting about who knows what in my own lane. (Let’s set this up.) On the road there are TWO left turn lanes…one that goes straight once you turn and one that goes right into Wal-Mart once you turn…I was in the straight left turn lane because I CLEARLY wanted to go HOME! DUH! Well I guess someone in the RIGHT TURN Wal-Mart lane wanted to do the same (not go to my house, but go straight!) and decided it would be cool to try to come into my lane while I was turning and then had the BALLS COOKIES to honk their horn and throw their hands up in the air like I was in the wrong! HELLO! I was in my lane and YOU wanted to get over AFTER you turned, asshat! Anyway, I was hot because I don’t use my air and irritated because I had already had another “encounter” earlier so I told Mrs. Paruser to pardon my French because I was about to get vulgar. So, while said person was throwing his hands in the air at me, I yelled a horrible racist remark at him and flipped him off! That just is NOT me! I mean COME ON!!!! I do NOT resort to stuff like that! Well, I use my middle finger, but NEVER comments like that!!! Oy. I am officially a Racist Bitch. :(

So, I do not feel like myself. I feel like I am living in a world of fake people. Like my brother-in-law said, I should not feel like I have to keep my feelings inside when I am mad just because I am afraid of getting shot or stabbed! HA! (I know, easy for him to say. He lives in Arkansas in the middle of nowhere!) I guess my point is, I rant and rant about racism and how it is horrible and there I was, spewing out that nasty word…with my damn windows down. I could have been shot!