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Thursday, May 10, 2012

What Mother's Do

Bless me readers for I have forgotten to write. It has been 9 days since my last post. I'd like to say there has been a TON of progress, but not really. On the diet front, I have lost 2lbs since my last blog and 3 TOTAL inches from my waist since I started the diet. Wait, I guess that IS a lot of progress! My bad! I also get to stay on Corey's team for the weight loss challenge!!! That means 30 days for FREE FIT-NASS! Woop woop! I am only on day two, but I feel great, body-wise. Mind wise...yeah, whatev. I'll pull out of that eventually.

On to the blogging. Sunday is Mother's Day. I got THE BEST Mother's Day gift I have ever got from my husband...a ticket to California to see my best friend that moved away before Christmas last year! I am STOKED! I'm not stoked about flying, but I'll take a couple xanax and the world will be ok. :-) Anyway, I have read several times on several blogs, FB posts, news briefs, etc that dudes are pissed that they don't get as much special treatments that moms do. While I totally disagree, my husband gets LOTS on father's day, even if it were true let me give you MY opinion as to WHY Father's Day just might not be as hyped as Mother's Day.

1. Mothers carry a human being, sometimes weighing in excess of 9lbs, for 9 months or longer INSIDE their bodies. Do men do that? No. Some would argue they helped put that human there and I say yes, but that's like letting your kid carry the watermelon all the way to the door then taking it from him and saying YOU did the carrying! Not cool.

2. Mothers push said human being out of their vaginas, some without any medication and some have to be cut open and have the human yanked out of their uterus. Do men do that? No. WOULD a man do that? HELL NO! Now argue about helping put that human there and see just how many curse words your woman can muster up!

3. According to the 2011 US Census Bureau, 5 million moms stay at home with their kids until at least 15! Compare that to the 154,000 dads out there with the cahoonas big enough to let their wifey get a job and do the supporting! ;-)

4. Mothers breast feed, bottle feed, do not hesitate to get up in the middle of the night for anything a baby, toddler or child needs and a father, well, I know MY husband, as awesome as he is, hesitates or sleeps right through the nightmares, crying, puking...all of it.

5. And one more...instinct. Mothers have instinct that cannot be denied. I don't care WHO you are, man or woman, once you have a child, your instincts about shit just skyrockets! Doesn't even matter if it is something as small as it's going to rain even though the sun is shining. If a mom tells you it's going to rain, grab an umbrella guys, cuz it will most likely rain! Dads, you can say you got this all you want, but stop pretending! It's not there!

I don't mean to dis the male species at all, I have a husband, a son, a dad and all 3 are GREAT and I celebrate their lives and give them all the props they deserve but come on, you men out there HAVE to understand WHY Mother's Day is so hyped by now? Right? If not, numbers 1 and 2 should be the only ones needed to convince you otherwise.

That's all I got for today. I must go out and finish staining the deck. Oh, did I hear "that's a man's job?" HAHAHAHAHA!


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