What Mother's Do

Bless me readers for I have forgotten to write. It has been 9 days since my last post. I'd like to say there has been a TON of progress, but not really. On the diet front, I have lost 2lbs since my last blog and 3 TOTAL inches from my waist since I started the diet. Wait, I guess that IS a lot of progress! My bad! I also get to stay on Corey's team for the weight loss challenge!!! That means 30 days for FREE FIT-NASS! Woop woop! I am only on day two, but I feel great, body-wise. Mind wise...yeah, whatev. I'll pull out of that eventually.

On to the blogging. Sunday is Mother's Day. I got THE BEST Mother's Day gift I have ever got from my husband...a ticket to California to see my best friend that moved away before Christmas last year! I am STOKED! I'm not stoked about flying, but I'll take a couple xanax and the world will be ok. :-) Anyway, I have read several times on several blogs, FB posts, news briefs, etc that dudes are pissed that they don't get as much special treatments that moms do. While I totally disagree, my husband gets LOTS on father's day, even if it were true let me give you MY opinion as to WHY Father's Day just might not be as hyped as Mother's Day.

1. Mothers carry a human being, sometimes weighing in excess of 9lbs, for 9 months or longer INSIDE their bodies. Do men do that? No. Some would argue they helped put that human there and I say yes, but that's like letting your kid carry the watermelon all the way to the door then taking it from him and saying YOU did the carrying! Not cool.

2. Mothers push said human being out of their vaginas, some without any medication and some have to be cut open and have the human yanked out of their uterus. Do men do that? No. WOULD a man do that? HELL NO! Now argue about helping put that human there and see just how many curse words your woman can muster up!

3. According to the 2011 US Census Bureau, 5 million moms stay at home with their kids until at least 15! Compare that to the 154,000 dads out there with the cahoonas big enough to let their wifey get a job and do the supporting! ;-)

4. Mothers breast feed, bottle feed, do not hesitate to get up in the middle of the night for anything a baby, toddler or child needs and a father, well, I know MY husband, as awesome as he is, hesitates or sleeps right through the nightmares, crying, puking...all of it.

5. And one more...instinct. Mothers have instinct that cannot be denied. I don't care WHO you are, man or woman, once you have a child, your instincts about shit just skyrockets! Doesn't even matter if it is something as small as it's going to rain even though the sun is shining. If a mom tells you it's going to rain, grab an umbrella guys, cuz it will most likely rain! Dads, you can say you got this all you want, but stop pretending! It's not there!

I don't mean to dis the male species at all, I have a husband, a son, a dad and all 3 are GREAT and I celebrate their lives and give them all the props they deserve but come on, you men out there HAVE to understand WHY Mother's Day is so hyped by now? Right? If not, numbers 1 and 2 should be the only ones needed to convince you otherwise.

That's all I got for today. I must go out and finish staining the deck. Oh, did I hear "that's a man's job?" HAHAHAHAHA!

TTFN,

Grades and Teens Oh MY!

I've been out a computer for a whole week because my damn dog got on the table while we were all out and spilled water so my poor MAC sat in water for over an hour. I had to soak it in a bag of rice for a few days and even though it still works, and I am typing on it now, the space bar doesn't work neither do a few other keys so I ended up getting a wireless keyboard and mouse. I kinda like this set up a lot better.

Today is report card day. This is the day that makes me feel either good or like a really horrible parent. Today I feel like an awesome parent! All 3 devilish kiddos did great this time around. 1 C between the 3 of them, the rest A's and B's. I guess we are doing something right with them. At least I HOPE we are doing right. Some days I wonder if I can do more.

We have a teenager. I have been dreading the teenage years since I started having kids 14yrs ago. I remember what I was like and it scares the crap out of me to think about MY kids being like ME. Unfortunately I probably deserve whatever these kids do to me for all the turmoil I put my mother through when I was a sneaky teen. I am already seeing my sneakiness in my oldest. Not the best quality to pass on to your child, but I guess you grow out of it with time! I have nothing to go by here in VA. All of my friends have babies. I am all alone in the teenage world for now. I am hoping if we move that I will be able to find some friend with kids MY kids' ages.

Well, it's time for baseball/softball and dinner. Next time I will have to tell you all (my secret 6) about my new diet and how awesome it is going! I'm pretty excited!

TTFN,



"""Note To Your Teenagers"" Outdoor Sign"
"Spot This is Not a Teenager Wall Decal"

Seven Things Sunday

Because I have been slacking, I decided to steal a meme from my girl over at Diapers and Wine. It is 7 Things from Your First Month of Motherhood. Go grab a tissue because you are going to cry...from laughing so freakin' hard!

1. I became a mother the first time in January 1999. I flew home when Syd was just under a month old. From sunny San Diego to cold and snowy Ohio with a colicky infant, alone, non-stop and I forgot the formula and forgot to bring a winter coat for my newborn. Needless to say my mother thought ahead for me and was waiting at the airport with a winter coat and a warm bottle.

2. Syd was only 2 days old and she again, needed some formula because I ran out of the stuff from the hospital. (Had to supplement because she was a HUGE kid!) I knew I wasn't supposed to drive, but I was home alone, again, and really needed the formula. Off to Target I went. About half way through my 10 minute shopping trip I realized I really needed to "go" and thought I could hold it. Well, I couldn't and shat myself right there in line at Target. All I could do was stand in line and laugh my ass off.

3. My baby fit in a clothes basket softened with a pillow, slept in said clothes basket for the first month of her life because it was more convenient for me to keep her close while I cat napped on the couch between feedings.

4. I fell asleep with my baby on my chest while breast feeding only to awake to her on the floor...sleeping soundly. I'm a baaaaadddd mom!

5. Colic is just another word for bitchy baby, seriously. My kid screamed her head off non-stop for like the first 7 months of her life unless she was stuffing her face! And the doctor called it colic. WTF? How many different types of milk ARE there in this world?! I know which ones smell the worst that is FO SHO!

6. I lost all my baby weight and then some. (Mind you, I now have 2 more children so that is NOT the case!!)

7. When you decide to QUIT breastfeeding, DO NOT take a warm shower! Them bitches just start flowing alllll over again!!!

I hope you all enjoyed my little meme today. I am not going to tag anyone, but if you read this, go ahead and do it. Just for fun! Have a great week. I might be back later. :)

TTFN,