My Journey to Average Entry 1

I know I said I would write about this another day, but I started a Facebook status and ended up with this:

Learning to adjust, adapt and overcome with my food has been interesting. Tonight I found a new favorite...haters don't hate...non-fat, plain Greek yogurt sweetened with splenda, flavored with a touch of almond extract. Calms my craving for sweets and makes this plain yogurt not taste like sour cream!

I am PROUD of myself for being able to stick with something so strict. Even though we are allowed to eat as much as we want protein-wise, the no fat, no sugar, no carbs can be a kick in the @$$. When I started reading the book I weighed 167lbs. I wanted to start then, but knew I needed to wait until after I got my last back injections. I ended up losing 2lbs just because this last injection made me a bit queasy and not want to eat as much. My starting weight on Monday was 165.2lbs. After only 4 "attack" days, I weighed in this morning at 161.1lbs...4.1lbs lighter! I was skeptical because I have staggered with my weight, and was actually thinking about quitting yesterday because I was sitting at 162 for 3 days!!! When I woke up and jumped on the scale and it hit that 161 I almost screamed with happiness. I didn't change a thing I was doing, kept with the plan and just pushed through that little bit of doubt and I came out of the first phase with success!

Now is the hard part...getting to the ultimate goal. If I stay on track, I should be able to get there by our anniversary!! That would be an awesome gift to myself and my husband. I know he loves me just the way I am, but for me to feel good about myself would make him even more happy. I only have a few obstacles that stand in my way that won't be very hard to overcome or come back from, one of them being Greek Fest that is coming up May 12th. I am IN LOVE with Greek food and I do not think that is on my pure protein or veggie diet. Of course there is room for one day of binging, but do I want to do that for something that I love or can I wait until after I have learned how to control myself? I think I can probably wait! The other obstacle is our HUGE family vacation, one week in OBX with lots of time to have fatty, rich food. I can control what I eat there on MOST of the days...just bring/buy what I can eat and stray away from the no-no foods. I will be really close to my goal by then so it will be super tempting to stray and try things like alcohol, which you cannot have until the last phase, or fried fish, which I LOVE. All of it can be done. If I can pass up clearance Easter candy, I can do a week with family and can skip out on 1 Greek Festival!!

Anyway, I will give periodic updates...mainly on my weight...just for my personal motivation. If you are interested in knowing what this diet is all about, feel free to email me at goudegirl03@aim.com and I will fill you in a little!

Awareness Wednesday...Pectus Excavatum and MY Heart

My Reasons To Live

I was born with a chest wall deformity called pectus excavatum or "sunken chest" syndrome. When I was a child, my mother was told that it would have little, if any, affect on me later in life. As I got older I was diagnosed with severe reverse "S" curve scoliosis. I also had problems with my breathing as my lungs started to get bigger in my small, sunken chest. Of course my bones would grow, but with the sternum sunk in, there was not much space for the lungs and heart and other organs.

Pectus excavatum occurs in an estimated 1 in 300-400 births, with male predominance (male-to-female ratio of 3:1). Imagine that! I'm a girl, just my luck. Some patients with pectus excavatum experience chest and back pain that is usually musculoskeletal in origin.

Pulmonary function

Doctors have observed that many patients with pectus excavatum tend to become symptomatic during their teenage years or early in adult life. Patients younger than 10 years who have pectus excavatum do not typically experience symptoms associated with shortness of breath. I began feeling my shortness of breath and difficulties when in high school during heavy exercise gym classes. I even spent 7 years in the military with decreased pulmonary function.

Cardiac function (All of this info is technical and here for a reason. You will see soon why. Please read it, it is informative for my disease.)

Displacement of the sternum in pectus excavatum can produce a deformity of the heart, with anterior indentation of the right ventricle. Early pathologic studies demonstrated this finding, and a series of early case reports included cardiac evaluations for patients with severe symptoms. Angiographic studies have demonstrated the sternal imprint on the anterior wall of the right ventricle.
Several studies have demonstrated limitation of cardiac stroke volume in patients with pectus excavatum, particularly in the sitting, or upright, position. When patients with pectus remain in the supine position (lying flat), no significant impairment to cardiac function is apparent. Further evidence has suggested that operative repair of pectus results in normalization of the cardiac function.

Physical

The hallmark of pectus excavatum is the caved-in appearance of the anterior chest. As mentioned above, the severity of the defect and the asymmetry of the chest widely vary. Patients may present with a very mild form of pectus excavatum or their sternum may be almost touching the spine. Typically, the lower third of the sternum is more involved, and the upper third may appear fairly normal. A compensatory anterior flaring of the lower ribs at each costal margin is also common. Many patients have associated scoliosis, but this is not directly related to the presence of pectus excavatum. My pectus is severe towards the middle and bottom. It crushes my heart and lungs but I do not think it touches my spine. At least not yet.

Auscultation of the chest: Heart sounds are typically displaced to the left side because of displacement and rotation of the heart. A click sound of mitral valve prolapse may be present. Lung sounds are clear, but the lung sounds may appear diminished at both bases because of decreased pulmonary volumes.
Pectus posture: The term pectus posture refers to the position assumed by most patients with significant pectus excavatum. They appear to create an anterior curvature of the thoracic spine with the shoulders slumped forward. Whether this is a subconscious maneuver to hide the chest wall deformity or a postural defect directly related to pectus excavatum is unclear. Such positioning of the spine appears to accentuate the pectus excavatum and can generate spine problems related to poor posture and inadequate spinal support. Correcting this posture is quite difficult, even after successful repair of the pectus excavatum.

Causes

The cause of pectus excavatum is unknown. It probably originates from a genetic defect that results in abnormal musculoskeletal growth. The cartilaginous portion of the rib is very likely the main source of this abnormal growth pattern. Abnormalities of rib morphogenesis and growth are the most likely causes of pectus excavatum and pectus carinatum. In pectus excavatum, the sternum is thought to be pushed in by abnormal growth at the articulation with the ribs and cartilage. Again, the exact mechanism that results in this abnormal growth pattern is not known. Increased work of breathing, as is observed in young patients during exercise or play activity, may contribute to the progression of the pectus deformity, particularly during early the teenage years. However, no scientific evidence supports such a theory. (Courtesy of eMedicine)

With all that medical mumbo jumbo said I come to my MIA status and why. (I am going to ASSUME a couple of weeks before my husband left this happened because it was the only time I really felt like crap.) I had been feeling overly tired lately and "off" so I decided to head on over to the doc and see what was up. I explained that I had thought I had a pulled muscle in my arm/shoulder and that the pain was in my chest too and it was making it hard to breathe sometimes. She didn't like my explaination nor did she like the way I looked. The nurse took my oxygen level because I was out of breath and it was 100%, my blood pressure was normal but they still wanted to do an EKG just to be "safe". I didn't care, I was just tired. Anything to lay down, it was easier to breathe and my chest didn't HURT when I was on my back. So they hook me up, do the test and the nurse looks at it, asks how old I am and then says she'll be right back. The doc comes in and says "No wonder you look like shit. Looks like you had a mild heart attack. Something going on in your life?" I explained to her about the hubby leaving and that I was a bit stressed out and all and I was like wait, what? And she said, oh it's probably nothing, let's do another EKG to make sure they put the probes in the right place. So the other nurse comes in, puts the probes in a different place, does the test and then just leaves me laying there still hooked up. By that point I am FREAKING out because she just LEFT. She comes back and says, ok, one more time. She does it one more time and then says "Yep, still the same, see?" And shows me the three tests that look totally normal to me. Like a graph with lines. Nothing. I know NOTHING about EKGs. They both come back into the room and say I have to go to the hospital RIGHT NOW and have more tests done to make sure I am not currently having a heart attack. I looked at them like they were on crack! I mean wouldn't I KNOW if I was having one?? Obviously NOT since I had already had at least one before that day.

So they order me a CT scan and chest xray to rule out anything abnormal in my lungs and off to the hospital I go. I was so scared. I got to my truck, called Mrs Paruser and said "I'm in trouble" and just started BALLING. Of course she was at my house shortly after I got there with her smiling face and her smiling baby. She came with me to the hospital and then went back to my house to be with my kids so I could go back to my doc for the results. Once I got the initial results of "not life threatening" I was so much better. I was given a few things to try to rule out the normal things like heart burn, acid reflux, asthma, etc but they didn't work. When I finally went back on Friday I was told I had some inflammation around my lungs and heart and was given some steroids to help with the inflammation and vicodin for the pain.

I have to have some pulmonary and cardiac function testing done now. I can, even at my age, have the surgery to correct the pectus IF that is what is causing my heart to "attack". All of the initial testing came back clear. No blocked arteries, nothing abnormal except for the fact there just isn't any room in there for me to GET sick if my body decides to. My heart is off to the side instead of in the middle of my chest. There is physical stress on it as well as all the mental and emotional stress I have in my normal, everyday life. Now I have to be careful because something triggered this and next time I just might feel it really good! Next time I might not be lucky enough to walk around just tired.

If you got this far, thank you for reading. If YOU have a story or know someone who does, please feel free to forward their story and a picture of them to me for another Awareness Wednesday to goudegirl03@aim.com

Survey Saturday...Strangeness

First off I want to thank everyone who has been showering me with the love these past few posts ESPECIALLY on my Fridays with the hubby pics. I have really needed the support since I am missing my man the most severely...more so than I have ever. Secondly, I know I have NOT been the best comment leaver as of late and I am totally sorry. I am lost in my own little world here and hope to pull out of it soon. I just blog and read and occasionally find it in me to crack a joke on someone's blog.

Anyway, here's today's interesting survey. It isn't anything special, but it IS strange.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"For me, as well."

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can...what do you touch first?
The wall

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The news

4. WITHOUT LOOKING, what time is it?
midnight thirty?

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
12:26am

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear:
The wind outside, the fan inside and my door blowing open and closed

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?:
About 15 minutes ago to yell at my dog to get her butt inside

8. Before you came to this website, what were you looking at?
My dog peeing outside

9. What are you wearing?
tank top and sleep shorts

10. What did you dream last night?
I was so tired I don't remember my dream from last night

11. When did you last laugh?
Tonight at Jayson and Sydnie playing the Wii

12. What's on the walls of the room you're in?:
A stuffed goose...it's real and I always hit my head on it's talons

13. Seen anything weird lately?:
Depends on what your definition of "weird" is

14. What do you think of this survey?
Uh it's strange

15. What's the last film you saw?
16 Candles...yes. old movie, but it was good!

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A brand new house i don't have to do ANY work on that has enough room for all my kids to have their own room

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
This summer I cut a total of 14 inches of hair off my head. :)

18. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?
Just one? Can't we all just get along??! :)

19. Do you like to dance?
When I am with Balla and when I am drunk!

20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
My first child WAS a girl and I call her Sydnie

21. Boy?
And my first boy is Jayson

22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Once retirement comes along, we have plans to own property in Costa Rica so yes.

The History of ME on Survey Saturday

1) Raised in: Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
2) Your whole name: Rachelle Lynne Goude

3) Birth date: November 29, 1976

4) Any siblings: 1 Sister, 1 Step-sister, 1 brother, 1 half-brother, 3 step-brothers

5) Oldest of them all: yeppers!!

6) Hair color: natural? really dark brown with reddish highlights.

7) Hair length: at my shoulders

8) First school: Preston Elementary

9) Eye color: bluish greyish green

10) Shoe size: 10

11) Mood: frazzled

12) College: Dual bachelor's degree

13) Height: 5'7"

14) Lefty/Righty: Righty

LOVE LIFE

1) Do you remember your first real relationship: a little

2) Do you believe in love: yes i do

3) Where did 3 go?
4) Have you ever been heartbroken: Yes

5) Do you love someone right now: Sure do. With all my heart

6) Have you ever fallen for a friend: Yes. Not a good idea

7) Are you afraid of commitment: Um, no

8) Do you believe in love at first sight: No. I believe in LUST at first sight

THIS OR THAT:

1) Love or Money: Love

2) Coffee or alcohol: um, both?

3) One night stands or relationships: relationships

4) Television or internet: internet

5) Pepsi or Coke; Coke...preferably diet

6) Long night out or romantic night in: how about both?

7) Phone or in Person: In person

HAVE YOU EVER:

1) Have you ever been caught sneaking out : nope

2) Have you ever been skinny dipping: yup

3) Have you ever been on a house boat: only once

4) Have you ever finished an entire jawbreaker: yes

5) Have you ever colored your hair: way too many times to count

6) Have you ever been streaking? waaaayyyyy too many times! LOL!

RANDOM:

1) Are you talking to anyone right now: nope

2) Are you German: I don't think so

3) Are you Italian: no

4) Are you French: maybe a little

5) Are you Mexican: No

6) Are you Dutch: No

7) Are you Indian: yes

8) Are you Irish: yes

9) Are you Russian: No

10) Are your parents still married: no

DO YOU:

1) Do you get depressed about things easily: lately, yes. but Balla is leaving soon

2) Where in the sam hell is 2??

3) Are you comfortable with the way you look: For the most part, yes.

4) How do you dress: some would say in the latest fashion. I call it "Mom gear"

5) Are you scared of growing old alone: no. I have kids, a husband, family and friends. I will never be alone

6) What do you want to be when you grow up: a grandma!

7) Favorite season: spring and fall

8) Are you a vegetarian: NOOOOO! I love meat waaaayyy too much to be a vegetarian!

Super Survey Sunday! Me In Pictures

I totally missed Survey Saturday because I just pushed fast forward and my day went "BYE BYE"! No, seriously, my day was gone before I could even breathe! I had tax instructor school training in the morning that went over then I went shopping for a quick minute then I had to nap then dinner with my girls and by the time I got home...well I am home now! HAHA! I am pre-writing for Sunday and pushing Saturday's blog to Sunday. I know, I know, lazy me. BUT, I won't find the time and I don't want to make my readers unhappy. I DO have SOME readers, ya know! So, here's something creative I found on myspace. It's neat. I copied and pasted and here are MY answers! Enjoy and I will see you on the flip side!

these are the rules:
Go to www.photobucket. com but don't sign in
Type in your answer to the question in the "search" box.
Use ONLY the first page unless nothing on that page has NOTHING to do with the question.
copy the html and paste it as the answer!

1. What's your first name? (When this posts, it doesn't show my full name so you have to click on it so you can see my full name. ;) )
2. What's your relationship status?
3. What's your favorite color?
4. What's your favorite TV show? (again, not the full image, but you get it)
5. Another Favorite TV show?
6. Fav Disney Movie?
7. Fav Non-Alcoholic Beverage?
8. Fav Alcoholic Beverage?
9. What is your dream vacation?
10. Use one word to describe yourself. (tee-hee)
11.I was born in:
12. My eye color is:
13. Last Movie You watched? (this cuts off half the pic too. it's supposed to be a type of ant.)
14. What kinda cell phone do you have?
15. What is something you do a lot?

TTFN,

Survey Saturday...About Me

• I Am a mom, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter and so much more.
• I Want to hold the winning lottery ticket!
• I Have everything I could possibly want in life.
• I Wish for the perfect job...
• I Hate James Patrick Pennell II...my ex-husband and biological father of my 2 daughters.
• I Fear the dark and losing my children.
• I Hear the trickling of the fish tanks...it is what inspires me to write some days.
• I Search the internet for stupid things, like this survey!
• I Wonder what my grand-babies are going to look like.
• I Regret nothing.
• I Love my life and everything in it!
• I Ache every morning when I roll over to hit the snooze button.
• I Always hit that damn snooze button!
• I Usually listen to Tommy and Rumble on FM99 Monday thru Friday after I hit the snooze button a few times.
• I Am Not afraid to stand up for myself!
• I Dance when I clean!
• I Sing all the time!
• I Never say never...unless we are talking about Hampton Roads traffic!
• I Rarely go to bed before 10pm.
• I Cry at least once a week. :(
• I Am Not Always perfect, but I try NOT to be!
• I Lose my temper quite often when my kids ask me "What are we doing today" 5 times each...before 10am!
• I'm Confused ...doesn't that say enough?
• I Need this deployment to come and go quickly so Balla and I can start our 101 nights of...ahem..."love".
• I Should do the dishes NOW so I don't have to do them LATER!